Global Warming| Climate Change| Fraud| Hoax| Humor| Lies at Mild Max

Cold Seeps, Chemosynthetic Communities

2010-06-26T10:40:00.000-07:00

A cold seep is an ocean floor area closely associated with naturally seeping methane gas, hydrogen sulfide, and hydrocarbon-rich fluid(petroleum, aka crude oil). Note; all of these are deadly poisons to most earth organisms. Cold seeps normally occur in deep water, but are not limited to those areas. Cold seeps should not be confused with Hydro-thermal vents, which are super-heated, chemically-rich, vents, which also support communities of life with normally toxic elements(mostly sulfur related). Cold seeps are...cold, seeping hydrocarbon-based gas and liquids are food for the living organisms. Cold seeps were first discovered in 1983 in the Gulf of Mexico. Other cold seeps have been found off the coasts of Japan, California, Costa Rica, Africa, Alaska, and Antarctica. (ref.)

Chemosynthesis is a process not unlike photosynthesis, but without sunlight. Chemosynthetic communities are often closely associated with cold seeps, as well as hydro-thermal vents, when they occur below 950 feet. Chemosynthetic Communities were first discovered in 1977 and, "This discovery shook the foundations of marine biology. It was called by some, the most important biological discovery of the 20th century."

Petroleum seeps are a naturally occurring feature. There are thousands in California. The best estimate for North America is 160,000 tonnes/per year. 90% of which is in the Gulf of Mexico. That equals 42,336,000 gallons of naturally leaking oil, in the Gulf. PER YEAR!

"More than 50 communities are now known to exist." "Although a systematic survey has not been done to identify all chemosynthetic communities in the Gulf of Mexico, there is evidence indicating that many more such communities may exist."

Ok, here's the point. Oil is a natural product of the Earth, it just comes bubbling out of the ground all over the place. Deep water communities depend on this leaking oil as an energy source in water depths where the sun doesn't shine. Every year these communities consume dozens of times more than the busted pipe from BP Deep Horizon can possibly spew, right there in the Gulf of Mexico, and they have been for thousands of years, if not millions. Yes, collect as much of the oil on the surface as possible, but quit the panic about the pristine beaches and wetlands, the Earth already has a system of recovery.

There are some neat pictures available here.

If you have a month to kill, and several billion brain cells you no longer care about, here is the official (warning it's a PDF)Gulf of Mexico OCS Oil and
Gas Lease Sales: 2007-2012, Vol. 1, all 788 pages of it. It is the official environmental impact statement from the former office of MMS

Something a little less taxing is Volume 2 of that report which has the figures and tables, it's only 170 pages.

Something to notice in this report is that the only area subject to even being researched is about 1/4 of the Gulf in the North West corner from the Texas/Mexico border to the Florida state line.

There, that should keep someone busy for a while, I know it did me.

Mark this word ... Ixtoc

2010-06-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

June 3, 1979. The exploratory well Ixtoc 1 blew out in 160 feet of water in the Bay of Campeche, Mexico. between 10,000 and 30,000 BARRELS of oil spewed into the Gulf of Mexico until it was capped on March 23, 1980. From August 6, 1979 to September 13, 1979 oil washed ashore on all parts of the South Texas coast line, 600 miles away. There was a common storm from Sep 13-15 which removed most of the oil. Apparently there was no further problem at the beaches. One bird was found dead. (NOAA reference)

3.3 million barrels of oil were released by Ixtoc 1, over a period of ten months. "Natural oil that seeps from the seabed releases the equivalent of one to two supertankers of crude in the Gulf of Mexico each year." "After two years, the conditions were really almost normal." (Ref)

So where am I going with this. 3 to 4.3 Billion Barrels of Technically Recoverable Oil Assessed in North Dakota and Montana’s Bakken Formation. (USGS report April 10,2008)

Oil is a natural product of the Earth. Why are we digging holes a mile under the water when there is plenty of oil in the Plains? Glowbull warming. Why are we fighting wars in oil rich countries who hate us when there is plenty of oil in our own yard? Glowbull warming. Why are we sending money to countries who want to kill us? Glowbull warming.

In next post, Cold Seeps and Chemosynthesis Communities.

Global Warming Proof

2010-05-13T22:36:00.000-07:00

I, Eric, have personally interviewed 3 individuals about the issue of Anthropogenic Global Warming, and now will provide for you definite unquestionable answers to all questions that may be asked in the future.

1: Was there global warming, or cooling before humans?

YES

2: Will there be global warming, or cooling after humans?

YES

3: Do humans have anything to do with sunspots?

NO

Well, there it is. Three questions, three answers. Oh.

The three people I interviewed were, Me, Myself, and I.
I challenge anyone to prove the answers wrong.

Percentage Points

2010-04-05T21:21:00.000-07:00

Before I get too crazy in the actual factiness of my ranting about the hoax which is the politico-consenso-eco-religion that has become Anthropomorphic Global Warming (AGP), I would like to fix a little flaw that I see in how numbers are represented with the percentile symbol(%).

One percent is expressed as 1%, as in one part per 100. One part per one hundred would be the same, as in 1/100, which is 0.01 on any calculator(divide 1 by 100).

Yes, I understand that the % sign is an expression of "divided by 100" in economics, politics, opinion, and consensus; however, in science it is an actual numerical expression.

Therefore when I say 1 part in 1,000,000 - I am referring to 1/1,000,000 which is 0.000001 on any calculator. Which is one-millionth of one percent. 1:1000000.

I wouldn't mention this, but so few people understand that even though they think they understand that 60% of 100 is 60, they have no idea that 60% of 1/1000 is 0.0006.

And with that; the percentage of CO2 in our atmosphere is 360 parts per million, which equals 360/1000000 which equals 0.00036%. There is no need to change the number of zeros when you add the percent symbol. This is not economics, politics, religion, consensus, or opinion, this is science.

I want to clear that up, and get it straight before I begin destroying the politico-consenso-eco-religion that is human caused global warming. Science is NOT politics, religion, opinion, consensus or economics.

Science is FACT.

Iceland Volcano Proof Of Global Warming

2010-03-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

Man, those pictures of that volcano erupting in Iceland are totally cool, huh? Well, you're wrong. It's a disaster of untold magnitude. Why can't you see past the awesome beauty of nature, to realize the only reason for that massive bleeding gash in Mother Earth is the anti-ecological policies of George Bush?

That's right. Bush didn't sign the Kyoto Accord, and the cascade effect has ruptured the skin of Gaia. Noxious, greenhouse gases are roiling out into the atmosphere, causing hurricanes, tornadoes, massive drought, flooding, cooler temperatures, global warming, unseasonal calm, high winds, and dead fish falling from the sky! Damn you George Bush. Damn you.

The glaciers are melting in Iceland, and it's only a matter of time before we all drown.

US Cult of Consumption and Greed, Join Now!

2010-01-14T12:12:00.000-08:00

Ever thought about joining a cult, but didn't want to give-up all your worldly possessions? Well, now you can! Les James here for the US Cult of Consumption and Greed.

My Search

For years I looked for a place that I could call home, a place with people just like me. You know, fat, decadent, over-consumers of the world's limited resources. Folks who work hard, and purchase goods and services they want, even if they don't really need them. Men and women who share my passion for never being employed at a "green job". People who know that all this environmental hysteria is just a pile of horse crap. Strike that, horse crap can be used as fertilizer and burned to create electricity. But you get the idea.

Then I discovered the US Cult of Consumption and Greed. It was the answer to my prayers, and it can be yours too. But don't just take my word that this cult is everything you've always dreamed about. Read what the UK Guardian has to say:

US cult of greed is now a global environmental threat

The average American consumes more than his or her weight in products each day, fuelling a global culture of excess that is emerging as the biggest threat to the planet, according to a report published today. In its annual report, Worldwatch Institute says the cult of consumption and greed could wipe out any gains from government action on climate change or a shift to a clean energy economy.

How Can I Join?

The fact that you're sitting on your plump rump in front of a computer screen means you already have! Congratulations.

How Can I Participate?

Turn on all the lights in your house like Al Gore. Crank up the heater and AC at the same time. Then open all the doors and windows in your home. Order useless crap off the Internet. Throw away food you just don't feel like eating it. Leave the 60 inch plasma TV on all night. It's easy to be a member in good standing.

See, you don't even have put on pants and leave the house to be a proud participant.

But if you must leave, warm-up the SUV for way too long. Go out of your way to get to where ever you are going, or just drive to watch the gas gauge fall. Cut down a tree and burn it for no good reason. Releasing all that harmful carbon dioxide. The possibilities are endless.

But Wait, There's More!

As a member of the Cult you can also be a dissident in the comfort of your very home home or 3/4 ton pick-up. The US government's official policy is that Global Warming and Climate Change is not a lie, hoax or fraud. It's the Gospel According to Barack truth. Show you contempt by consuming twice, or even three times, your body weight each day. Get really fat and increase your Carbon Footprint.

Let's all flip the bird to these Climate Change Nazis and Global Warming Fascist. Show them, we're proud members of the US Cult of Consumption and Greed.

Obama Tells CIA to Spy on Polar Bears

2010-01-12T15:54:00.000-08:00

The Obama administration is forcing CIA spy satellites to watch polar bears. Why? Because they're a terrorist threat. I mean, that has to be the reason, right? We use to do it, but George Bush canceled a similar program. He wasn't very serious about the Bear Bombers from the North. He was too busy keeping Radical Islamic Jihadists from blowing up any more Americas.

Well, that's all changed. President Obama started the CIA Center on Climate Change and National Security. It's their job to watch out for maundering white bears. But not everyone's happy about this. Sen. John Barrasso, R-Wyo.,called the creation of this new center, "irresponsible." I'll bet he thought there were WMDs in Iraq too.

PETA has come out in favor of the program, sighting that polar bears are known killers of baby harp seals and wear fur. Several tree hugging enviro-mental groups have shown their support, but the ACLU has yet to take a stand.

In a bizarre turn of events, white supremest are backing the goal of the center. They seem to believe it's a good idea keep an eye on these dangerous animals. Apparently, polar bears have black skin. They've asked to have a CIA spy satellite tuned in on the White House.

Les James' political satire can be found at Sideshow Mirrors and his political humor at Radioactive Liberty

LED Traffic Lights Kill People and Polar Bears

2010-01-08T08:14:00.000-08:00

Once again, it's the government to the rescue. This time it's mostly state and local, but still the government. A lot of places are now using LED lights in their traffic signals. This saves a significant amount of cash. That sounds good. They use a lot less electricity, so less energy has to be produced, which in turn means less pollution. I'm not against that.

Everything's peachy, right? Wrong.

These lights have a minor problem. In snowy regions, the lights don't produce enough heat to melt the snow and ice. The lights become muted, or white-out altogether. Numerous accidents have occurred and at least one death. Well, that's acceptable. After all, we're saving the planet.

Most people see a white traffic light as a stop sign, and they all take turns at these intersections. So why do we need lights in the first place? Think of the savings. Maybe not.

If cars have to stop and go, that causes more pollution. Local governments have to send out trucks, with government workers, to wipe off the lights. More driving equals more pollution, and the extra gas and maintenance cost for these vehicles significantly reduce the savings of these LED traffic lights. Plus all those old, ineffective lights had to be replaced. What did that cost? What was the carbon footprint of this entire venture from conception, through manufacture, to shipping, and on to the installation? Where did all those old lights go? Answer: A lot, huge, and in the landfill. Very environmentally conscience.

So where do the polar bears come in?

The bottom line is, LED traffic lights have had a negative impact on the environment. This means we will have more hurricanes, ground water will be more undrinkable, rising oceans will become less habitable, We'll have droughts, global warming, famine, pestilence, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together...

And polar bears starving to death.

Like I said at the beginning, government to the rescue.

Noah Wyle is Acting Like a Moron

2010-01-04T12:09:00.000-08:00

Noah Wyle is a good actor. I understand he was in some doctor show or another. It wasn’t House, so I’ve never seen it, but I heard he was popular. I did see the three Librarian movies he made, and found them entertaining. After all, any film with Bob Newhart and Jane Curtin can’t be too awful, but this latest offering from Noah, for the WWF, has got to be some of his best work yet.

Whoa! Did you see the depth of emotion he portrayed in that scene? Very convincing. The poor polar bears. Makes you want to weep, send the WWF all of your cash, drop out of society, and start eating berries and grubs, doesn’t it. My question is, why did Mr. Wyle do this PSA?

I see three possibilities:

1) He actually holds these conviction based upon swallowing the lies propagated by the likes of “climate scientist” and the “consensus” of the world’s best minds, i.e. Al Gore, East Angila, the Democrat Party, Penn State, the U.N., etc.

2) Noah is unable to tell the difference between fact and fiction, when it comes to scripts.

3) He’s a man whore for the media and hopes to have a place in the New World Order.

Here's a little advice for the actor:

1) Noah, button the lips. You don’t want anything Al Gore is spewing inside of you. Man-made climate change a massive cover-up of facts, a giant hoax. Letting in even the smallest amount will leave a bad taste in your mouth, and swallowing it will do nothing for yours or nature’s health. I’ll guarantee Al won’t respect you in the morning.

2) Noah, stop doing these commercials until you can find a friend to let you know what fictions is.

3) Noah, the only place you’re going to have in the new regime is that of financier. You’re going to be told to give more and more of your wealth to those who haven’t earned it. I would suspect that while you agree that the well-off should give more in taxes, you do everything you can to keep as much of your earnings as possible. Good for you. Next, I’d bet you give a lot to charities. Very noble. Stop it. If you believe all this Global Warming crap, then the only people who know what’s best is the government. Give them the money instead. I’m sure they’ll spend it for you.

Bottom line:

No matter what Noah, you’re acting like a moron.

Oh, and stop Panda Wrestling.

Les James can be found lurking around Sideshow Mirrors and Radioactive Liberty

CO2 Dress Update: Diffus Uncovered

2009-12-28T16:16:00.000-08:00

Being an Unashamed, Unabashed American, I've decided to use the All-American game of Baseball, as a sarcastic analogy to bring you the latest in a very humorous exchange.

It's the Wind-up...

A few days ago I poked fun at a CO2 pollution dress that warns of the presence of the deadly, toxic substance, carbon dioxide. Within hours of publishing, I received a response from Michel Guglielmi of Diffus. This paranoid, media mongering, self-proclaimed Tree Hugger searched the interwebs for anyone whom might not approve of his latest project. He found one.

Here's where it gets funny. While I'm well enough know -in a niche market- as a writer for the number one ranked conservative political humor site, in the entire world, this little start-up, global warming humor and satire blog is just an unranked nobody. Yet, he chose to attack it. Michel had to search way down the page to find my post. Grow-up. Haven't you ever heard that any press is good press?

The exchange can be found in the comments section of CO2 Dress for Climate Change Success. It's great reading.

And the Pitch

I went to Dufus, as I told Michel I would.

Here's a blurb from his web site:

Michel Guglielmi:

He is an architect working with tangible media, interaction design and architecture. He is teaching at the Danish School of Design in Copenhagen and previously assistant professor in performance and installations in medialogy at Ålborg University, Institute for Media Technology and Engineering. He is co-founder of Diffus.

You'll notice that even though it appears to be in English, there are several issues with the syntax and grammar. Hey Dufus, if you're going to set up a site that has English text, spend a little cash and have it checked out before hitting publish.

Next, the graphics are horrible. I'm not a professional, but I can do better Photoshop work then these designers of "tangible media". Personally, I've always been a fan of intangible media.

Broken links, sloppy layouts, incoherent hippie-babble, and no visible means of support, plague this site. Where's the money coming from? I suspect Taxpayers. Yep, I got a feeling that without the Denmark Nanny State lining their pockets with Socialist Tax Euros, these guys would be selling hand made, hemp man purses on street corners to drugged-out tourist.

Worse yet, where do the materials they use come from? No mention of Fair Trade, eco-friendly, environmentally conscience, re-cycled sourcing. By Michel's own admission, they are enviro-mentals after all.

Once again, WTF Dufus? Did you get the LEDs for your stupid dress from a Chinese sweatshop, where young children are forced to work for next to nothing, just so some degenerate Western Business Executive could create an ugly garment?

Strike Three, Your Out

A few more questions for you Dufus:

What is the Carbon Footprint of your web site? Where did the materials come from for the dress and other of your silly projects, and how did they get into your hands? What was the impact on the earth you love so much, in mining, fuel, agriculture, production and transportation for your unnecessary work? Do any of you own dogs? How much CO2 do each of your team members breath out each and every day? How can you live with yourselves? Huh, Dufus? Your lifestyles and very existence are an affront to nature.

Hypocrites like you make me laugh. Remember, I don't claim to be a Green Wack Job, or a professional, or an artist, or a designer, or worried about man's impact on the world, or even being very good at editing my own posts.

Please Michel, continue to keep this alive. You're helping this site's rankings in the humor blogging world.

North Pole Survives Christmas Warming Threat

2009-12-26T15:59:00.000-08:00

Despite what the idiots at Build-A-Bear said, the North Pole, Santa Clause, penguins and the polar bears still have a nice, cold home today. No need to send the Coast Guard to rescue Elves in lifeboats or Green Peace to thwart their efforts.

In the wake of calls for boycotts, the company took down the animated videos from their website, telling little kids the entire northern polar icecap might be gone by Christmas. Build-A-Bear had the typical, enviro-mental response:

"Our intention with the polar-bear story was to inspire children, through the voices of our animal characters, to make a difference in their own individual ways," Chief Executive Maxine Clark said. "We did not intend to politicize the topic of global climate change or offend anyone in any way."

Too late, moron.

P.S. Hey Maxine, penguins live near the south pole.

CO2 Dress For Climate Change Success

2009-12-24T19:43:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas

So a bunch of Euro-Treehuggers (you remember Europe, that's where they cut down most of the trees long ago. No wonder they're so cranky.) designed this eco-dress. It tells when there is CO2 nearby. The more the carbon dioxide, the brighter the LEDs shine. Breath on it, and it lights-up.

No way could you wear this dress in Congress, it would blind everyone there.

Excuse me for not being very fashion conscience, but it looks like they took the drapes down and sewed some LED Christmas Tree lights on it.

Image: Diffus: Alexandra Institute

Microsoft to the Global Warming Rescue

2009-12-23T15:47:00.000-08:00

Those geniuses at Microsoft have done it again. Weren’t these the same guys that brought us Vista? Anyway. Technology Chief Nathan Myhrvold thinks he’s found a cure for Global Warming. And get this; it’ll only cost $250 million. Yes, that’s million with an “m”, not billion with a “b”, or trillion … you get the point. I can find that kind of loose change under my sofa cushions and behind my truck’s seat. He claims it won’t disrupt the carbon-emitting world as we know it. Does that mean it will change it into something we don’t know? I don’t know.

Okay here’s the low-down. Myhrvold proposes we start pumping liquid sulfur dioxide into the stratosphere. It’s going to get shot out of nozzles from hoses we lift 15 miles up into the sky, by helium balloons. Too bad “Balloon Boy’s” parents are going to jail. This gig was right up their alley.

These sulfur clouds are supposed to cut down the sunlight in those pesky critical areas of the world by just enough to slow down or reverse the effects of *global warming. He calls this miracle a “Stratoshield.” Sounds like a new name for a tin foil hat to me.

“Since sulfur occurs naturally in the environment”, he says. “It will not disrupt our climate in a negative fashion, and will lower temperatures as desired in areas that need to be cooled.” Now correct me if I’m wrong, but if you add sulfur dioxide to water vapor (the leading offender in global warming) you get Acid Rain. According to Al Gore and alike, global warming has been steadily increasing since we mandated clean air, in order to stop things like Acid Rain.

Why are we always behind the power curve?

*ed note: didn't he get the memo it's called Climate Change now?

Save the World, Eat Your Dog

2009-12-22T10:34:00.000-08:00

Put this under, I been telling pan-handlers this for years.

Love your pet, hate the environment. This is the focus of a new book by Robert and Brenda Vale. Titled, Time to Eat the Dog, this scholarly work states that owning a medium sized dog has twice the Carbon footprint of an SUV.

“How is this possible?” you scream. According to the Vale’s, dogs eat an average of 360 pounds of meat each year. It takes two acres of land to generate their dinner. This is two times more than a Hummer.

Humm, shoot the dog, buy an Escalade.

If you cat people think you’re off the hook, thing again. Their dietary habits are the same as driving a VW Golf for a year, but who owns just one cat? OMG! The old lady down the street with all the strays is committing genocide!

John Barrett at the Stockholm Environment Institute in York, Britain, confirmed their facts, and came to this conclusion, "Owning a dog really is quite an extravagance, mainly because of the carbon footprint of meat,"

Looks like the Koreans are ahead of us again. Now, where did I put my copy of 101 ways to Wok Your Dog?

Cuba Pissed-off at Obama Over Copenhagen

2009-12-21T16:18:00.001-08:00

Havana- For over an hour today, Cuba’s foreign minister, Bruno Rodriguez lashed out at President Obama's behavior in Copenhagen. "At this summit,” the foreign minister said, “there was only imperial, arrogant Obama, who does not listen, who imposes his positions and even threatens developing countries."

Obama and the U.S. Government have lately been under increasing attacks from the communist island state. Rodriguez called the UN climate conference "a fallacy, a farce", insinuating the use of strong-armed tactics and backroom deals. He called these shenanigans “undemocratic” and “suicidal” as they only urge, but do not mandate major polluters to make deeper CO2 emissions cuts.

"Obama knew he was lying, that he was deceiving public opinion," Rodriguez said. This in response to comments Obama made during a news conference in Copenhagen, when Obama said no agreement had yet been reached but that he was confident one would be before the summit ended.

Rodriguez also stated Cuba and other developing nations are refusing to recognize the agreement because they weren't permitted to participate in its development.

Mild Max Calender

2009-02-15T11:11:00.000-08:00

If you wish to contribute, please contact Les at the gmail address in the sidebar. All chapters need to remain within the genre and style of the original two post and must be emailed to Les by no later than midnight EST, the Wednesday before your publish date. We'd like to see a new chapter of Mild Max appear every Friday at our host, Radioactive Liberty. Please include your name and blog (if any) in the email.

Here is the current list of those who have taken up the challenge to write a 400-700 (or maybe a bit more) word chapter in the on-going adventures of Mild Max:

1 2/13/09 Les James Behind Thunderdome
2 2/20/09 Les James Click
3 2/27/09 Snig Shorts in a Snowstorm
4 3/06/09 Alex L The UNKnown
5 3/13/09 JumpOut Escape from the Kill Zone
6 3/20/09 Elm Welcome to the Tundra
7 3/27/09 Alex L Chatterbox
8 5/01/09 Les James The Giant Killer
9 5/08/09 Chris C Escort Service
10 5/15/09 JumpOut I'm Just a Businessman